Children's Book Author Discusses Supporting Single Mothers on Father's Day

There is a fatherless crisis in America. National Fatherhood Initiative states that 18.4 million children, 1 in 4, live without a biological or adoptive father.

AUSTIN, UNITED STATES, June 10, 2024 /EINPresswire.com/ -- In celebration of Father’s Day, Azaliya Schulz, the author of the book “Where is Daddy? Who is Daddy?” highlights the importance of recognizing families that don’t have active father involvement and provides suggestions on how to handle this emotionally charged day for some. While some are scrolling for a perfect Father’s Day gift, others are struggling to reassure their kids or are in complete denial of how a father’s absence affects the child. The truth of the matter is that fathers matter. Azaliya states that she grew up not knowing her dad and it had a profound effect on her entire life.

National Fatherhood Initiative states that 18.4 million children, 1 in 4, live without a biological, step or adoptive father at home. This means that 1 in 4 children would experience 4 times greater risk of poverty, be more likely to have behavioral problems, be more likely to go to prison or commit a crime, 7 times more likely to become pregnant as a teen, be more likely to face abuse and neglect, be more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, and twice more likely to drop out of school.

To help children without active father involvement this Father's Day, we offer a few suggestions for solo mothers:

- It is never a good idea to speak badly about an absent father.

Having feelings about an uninvolved father is understandable. However, those feelings should not be projected onto the child. The child does not have the emotional awareness to cope with an adult's perspective. Every child has an internal relationship with their father and an innate need to be loved by him, whether the father is present or not. Every mother has a unique opportunity to foster that relationship in a positive or neutral manner and affirm that the child's father has innate love for the child even if it’s not expressed. It's best to find some positive points to focus on rather than criticism. Children who have a good internal relationship with both parents are more likely to develop an enhanced sense of self-acceptance, self-reliance and self-worth.

- Don't be afraid to recognize and acknowledge the child's feelings.

The child may be struggling with feelings of abandonment, sadness and disappointment leading to an array of questions. You are the only person they can turn to for comfort, relief and answers. Some children may create a belief that they are responsible for their father’s absence. This leads to a belief that if their own father couldn’t stay to love and nurture them, then who would? These are very powerful beliefs that shape the child’s ability to build relationships throughout their lives. Reassure them that these feelings are understandable, however that they are loved, and they deserve to be loved simply for who they are. It is also a valuable skill to teach the child to love themselves. It can be supported through positive reinforcement of their qualities and abilities.

- Highlight the fact that all families are different.

Not all families look the same and some children live with their moms. Some have blended families and others live with grandparents etc. Each family construct brings value to its members. It works because of the effort and love and consideration of family members, not because of the family structure. Addressing why the father is not present may be difficult to explain but a good, neutral explanation could be 'we took different paths' without judgment or resentment.

- Celebrate other father figures in the child’s life.

Providing children with alternative support and guidance is important. A positive male role model can fill the void left by an absent father, such as uncles, grandfathers, sports coaches or family friends. Counselling and support groups can also provide children with a safe place to express their emotions. All adults play an influencing role in the child’s life and that influence is important for the development of their view of the world. Fostering relationships that are healthy, edifying and bringing wholesome experiences to the child’s life will go a long way in giving them stability and balance.

 Author Schulz emphasizes the importance of acknowledging families without active fathers. Father's Day will prompt many children to ask their moms, “Mommy, Mommy, where is daddy?". Helping mothers find the right answer is crucial because many mothers simply do not know what the best response should be. Khalifa Araba, the Happy Single MOM podcast states "Our children ask the most innocent questions and we need to have an emotional awareness and safe space to be able to answer the question with grace, understanding and protect their feelings. Azaliya was raised by a single mother and wanted to have a book as an emotional outlet to ask the questions she had in her heart as a child with an absent father. Amazing, thought provoking and something that we need as parents".

Schulz is the author of children’s books. She has a strong desire to write inspiring children’s books on important topics that help children to become independent and critical thinkers and create a supportive and loving community.

To know more about Azaliya Schulz as an author as well as details of where to find her books, visit azaliyaschulz.com. This book is available on Amazon.

Azaliya Schulz
ThingsthatMatter
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